


Five Steps for a Truly Entertaining Reveal

by TheSubtextMachine



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fill, Secret Relationship, The Lima Bean, forgive me prompters, i cannot follow a prompt in an exact way to save my life, intricate rituals that allow you to make out with your boyfriend, pretty short, scheming boys!!!, silly and fluffy, they're in love in an iconic way i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSubtextMachine/pseuds/TheSubtextMachine
Summary: saw this prompt on tumblr and immediately thought of kurtbastian!! A+B: [Arguing] A: Fine! I don't care, just take what's yours and get out of here! B: Fine, I will! B: [picks up A] B: [Leaves] A: ...you know this isn't what I meant.... with A being Kurt and B being Sebastian-Kurt and Sebastian try their darndest to find the most entertaining way to reveal to the New Directions that they are a couple.
Relationships: Kurt Hummel/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 11
Kudos: 220





	Five Steps for a Truly Entertaining Reveal

“I just don’t understand why we need to keep this a secret from them. I wanna shout it from the rooftops, honestly,” sighed Sebastian, before taking a sip of his coffee. The Lima Bean was unoccupied enough for him and Kurt to be able to sit together, but not enough to hold hands, and Sebastian was _aching_ with his sappy need to express affection.

(Sebastian never thought he’d be that kind of boyfriend, but goddamn, if the simple pleasantness of holding Kurt’s hand didn’t bring out a whole new side of him.)

“I’m saving it for after Sectionals. Once we aren’t at the risk of being accused of a Jesse St. James Redux, you have full permission to shout it from the rooftops. In fact, I’d encourage it,” said Kurt, giving Sebastian a soft look before steeling over again, just in time for a New Directions member, finished with ordering their own coffee to notice them.

“Kurt? Is Sebastian bothering you?” asked Sam, walking over their table and looking like a concerned dad who just witnessed their child falling down on the playground.

“I would never bother Kurt,” said Sebastian, holding his hand to his chest in a faux-affronted look, which had the effect of making Kurt snort.

“We’re doing our weekly scheduled trash talk session. Do you want to throw in a jab or two?” asked Kurt.

“Um… sure. The Warblers sound like a, uhh, really shitty Little League baseball team, because, um, that’s what you are. Show Choir Little League. Boom.”

“Why don’t you ever bring that thunder to our trash talk sessions?” asked Sebastian.

“Saving it for the night before.”

“Do you guys really meet up to just insult each other?” asked Sam, his eyebrows furrowing and his face looking genuine in his questioning.

Kurt and Sebastian looked at each other, a quiet moment of “how do we answer this without making it look suspicious”, before realizing that the long moments of staring at each other probably did nothing to help their cause.

“Oh my god, you totally do!” said Sam, which would have been worrying for the secrecy of their relationship if not for the fact that he was laughing, which did more to confuse the pair than anything else.

“Yeah? Is there something wrong with that?” asked Sebastian, his face set in the perfect, douchebaggy way that could reliably stop a conversation.

“You two need to get boyfriends, Jesus Christ,” gasped out Sam between his laughter. Sebastian and Kurt shared a panicked glance, before Sam continued. “Just go on a date with someone! This is prime dating hours, wow, I’m just- I’m floored. That’s hilarious.”

“I, uh, I guess,” stuttered Kurt, before pushing out some laughter, and shooting a wide eyed look to Sebastian, as if to say “laugh, please”, and Sebastian followed suit.

Once Sam had left The Lima Bean, and they had both breathed a sigh of relief, and a silence rested on the table for a moment.

“How the fuck are we going to tell them?” Sebastian asked, more to himself than to anyone else. 

“Muckraker leak?” Kurt asked, and he took a slow sip of his drink as he mused on the subject.

“Maybe I could crash Glee Club and sing you a song?”

“No, you’d get murdered on entry. Glee Club is uncrashable. We’d need to invite you.”

“Maybe a Warbler vs. New Directions post-Sectionals faceoff? And we make some dramatic statement at some point?”

“I’m intrigued…”

_Step One_

After the New Directions won the Sectionals Trophy, they had a group celebration at Breadstix. The Warblers had also, by pure and total coincidence, happened to be at Breadstix, even though the preferred Warbler group spot was the IHOP by Dalton. That fact escaped the New Directions, who upon their entry, immediately began goading them, led by Kurt.

“Well well well… I didn’t know Breadstix served losers,” said Kurt, aiming his remark at Sebastian, who was at the head of the Warblers despite not even being a council member yet.

“It’s Lima, of course they serve losers.”

“Bold words for a loser!” said Artie, crossing his arms and pursing his lips in a move he though seemed

“Bold words for a team that won on a fluke. I bet, if we sang against each other again, the Warblers would win,” Nick said as he began mimicking Artie’s movement before Jeff gave him a “cut it out” signal.

(The Warblers, having known about Kurt and Sebastian’s coupling, were just in it for the chance to have a dance-off in a parking lot, and were quite eager to get to it.)

“You bet? Let’s do it, then. Improvised performance, and we can do it-”

“Parking lot!” said Trent, looking like an excited puppy.

_Step Two_

_After wrangling two whole show choirs into the night and assembling on the back parking lot of Breadstix, Kurt and Sebastian faced the sudden issue of show choirs arguing over the rules of what they were about to do. By the time they settled on a modified riff-off, the chill of the night was finally getting to them._

_It was a hard won battle, but after 3 out of 5 coin flips (the Warblers, after losing the first, insisted on doing it out of three, and then when the New Directions lost and insisted on doing it out of five), the New Directions got to start off the singing._

__Step Three_ _

_The riff-off was, as everyone expected, pretty fucking epic. It reached a point where they had forgotten that they were technically competing, and just started singing strings of songs together, belting loud and free into the night._

_The expected kerfuffle of fighting over who won began, with Nick and Rachel originally leading the charge, each arguing for their own side, before Nick suddenly stopped._

_“Wait, this was Sebastian’s thing. Sebastian, can you fight this?”_

_“My pleasure, but only if I get to duke it out with Kurt.”_

_“Why?” Rachel asked, in a way that sounded like she was debating in her own mind if she should be offended by the fact that Sebastian preferred to fight with Kurt._

_“We’ve been training for this.”_

_“Ahh, the scheduled trash talk,” said Sam, nodding and smiling._

__Step Four_ _

_Then, as planned and rehearsed, the Warbler Vs. New Directions Gay Bitchout of the Century commenced, with Sebastian and Kurt in the middle, surrounded in a circle by their clubs, all watching and looking as if they wished they brought along popcorn._

_The insults were near-Shakespearian, their delivery cool and biting, and when the reveal came, it came in spectacular fashion._

_“You know what? I can’t take it, I am sick and tired of you being a douchecanoe in my presence. Take your shit and leave, I will not tolerate it. Take what’s yours,” shouted Kurt, stepping closer to Sebastian._

_“Fine!” yelled Sebastian, and he took a step closer._

_The air was thick with tension, they could feel the eyes on them. This was the moment. Their faces were a foot apart, and Sebastian brought a hand up to Kurt’s face and pulled him in for a passionate, bruising kiss._

__Step Five_ _

_“What. the. Fuck,” whispered Sam, totally baffled by the sight before him._

_Kurt and Sebastian were… kissing? Well, it seemed, somehow, like more than kissing. Same could swear he even saw a hint of tongue, which surprised him and fascinated him at the same time. Wait, was he bi? Nevermind, not the time._

_Beside him, Sam could hear Artie say “Now this, this is _epic_ ” under his breath, and he surveyed the rest of the reactions. What he saw was lots of shock, and a fair amount of confusion. He decided to be the one to clear his throat, to try to break them apart._

_Kurt and Sebastian took the cue, and separated, each looking very thoroughly kissed._

_“So, uh, we’re dating,” said Sebastian, sounding out of breath._

_“Yeah. can confirm,” gasped out Kurt._

_“Mission accomplished,” added Sebastian, and he looked at Kurt with a wide smile, feeling an odd sort of pride at having completed such an operation together._

_This relationship thing, he thought, was going to fucking _rock_._

**Author's Note:**

> still open for receiving prompts on my tumblr @thesubtextmachine!! love yall, stay safe! <3


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